When I have done something which offends another, I believe in offering an apology. It’s the first step in making things right. The problem is many of us never go beyond the apology. It’s like our responsibility ended when we said, ”I’m sorry.”
Lately, I have been asking people who frequently say “sorry” to me that I appreciate their apology, but I will believe them when their actions change. (Just so you don’t think I am an incredible jerk, I want to clarify that I only challenge an apology when it comes from someone I know (well) who has already apologized to me several times for a similar offense.)
My thinking is that if someone is truly sorry for what they have done, then they will change their behavior. That all follows logically in my mind; how can someone be truly sorry, if their behavior doesn’t reflect the change?
Anyway, I was offering an apology the other night to a close friend and realized that I was now guilty of the very thing I was just addressing: an apology without a changed behavior. The voice in my head said, “Gee…looks like you have a similar problem with your follow through too.” (Sometimes I hate that little voice, but I am grateful that I still hear it.)
“Small minds talk about people, average minds talk about events, great minds talk about ideas.” —Eleanor Roosevelt
This quote, more than any other, has left me convicted and troubled.
I think of the passage in James (3:1-12), which talks about our need to tame the tongue:
1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Verses 4 & 5 in particular speak to me. It seems that all too often I speak without thinking. When I speak without listening, I usually get into trouble quickly as my words lead me to places my spirit would avoid. The words we speak are a reflection of our hearts; help us God.
Lord, help me to listen…and to speak only when I have something helpful and constructive to say.
American Vice: Mapping the 7 Deadly Sins.
SOURCE: Wired.
This graphic of the United States shows the extent of each of the Biblical “Seven Deadly Sins.” I live in South Dakota, and am from the western part of that state. I guess I was really surprised that my “home” is so greatly under the influence of lust.
He’s Barack Obama | Funny Video Animation by JibJab.
This is worth watching a couple of times. I am apolitical; I do not believe either party represents the best interests of America. It’s time for change, but that change goes way beyond Obama.
Lead Me to the Cross by Hillsong (Brooke Fraser)
On September 24, 2009, MPR’s Midmorning show interviewed one of the authors of a book titled: NurtureShock. The supporting Web site for the book does a great job of capturing the ideas/research presented in the book.
Basically, too much praise leads to a mindset of infallibility, which obviously has the potential for great trouble. This mindset (of infallibility) in learning settings (i.e., school classrooms) contributes to a misplaced value on making good marks rather than on learning. Thus, when learning new (and difficult) material, students are more likely to perceive themselves as stupid when they fail grasp new material quickly. Obviously, this material has many other effects on individuals and our society.
One area where this could lead to trouble is an individual’s spiritual life. When we are held captive to the belief that we are able to overcome any obstacle or situation, we set ourselves up for failure. Life continually presents us with setbacks; we do not always “win” in every situation. For a Christian suffering through a belief in their own infallibility, danger exists on at least two fronts as it relates to one’s spiritual formation: 1) the trap of legalism (boiling one’s beliefs/faith down to a checklist of proper behaviors and actions) or 2) the fear of failure (avoiding the difficult areas/situations needing God’s touch).
I need to say more here, but it will have to wait till later.
Click this link to listen to the show.
Obviously, this list is highly subjective:
- Amazed (Desperation Band)
- Awesome God (Hillsong)
- Blessed Be the Name of the Lord (Tree 63)
- I Will Wait for You (Jason Upton)
- Lead Me to the Cross (Hillsong)
- O Praise Him (David Crowder Band)
- Revelation Song (Kari Jobi)
- See the Way (Misty Edwards)
- Sons and Daughters (Jason Upton)
- To Know Your Name (Hillsong)
I welcome the opinions of others.
On September 18, 2009, MPR’s Midmorning ran a story titled What Science Says About Loneliness as it relates to connected cultures. It was interesting (in a good way), but what I really appreciated was this statement introducing the segment:
“Some argue that our increasingly computer-networked society should keep us from being lonely, but one expert argues that online friends are no replacement for real ones.”
I think the great disease of our time is business, which technology has played a part in. As we’ve gotten busier and ironically more connected (e.g., cell phone, computer, etc.), we’ve lost many of our intimate friendships. To a large degree, we no longer know how to be around one another. I do not know exactly what role technology plays in this; I have no doubt that all of us are suffering from varying degrees of distraction, which contribute to our inability “to be here now” and live in the present moment with one another.
